Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Some Spring Workout Inspiration

For awhile now, I have been writing rules for fitness.  I hope they inspire you to new athletic feats. Here are the first 20. Their wisdom is in no particular order. ;)

Lazy Athlete Rule #1: Never do anything to become strong, faster or better. #keepthestatusquo
Lazy Athlete Rule #2: Stay away from people who might encourage you to break Rule #1 while working out.
Lazy Athlete Rule #3: Quit the gym.
Lazy Athlete Rule #4: Sweating is gross, especially in the summer months. Avoid it.
Lazy Athlete Rule #5: Only enter events you know you will win.
Lazy Athlete Rule #6: Flashier shoes make you look like you are running faster. I suggest Bedazzling them.
Lazy Athlete Rule #7: Always put off until tomorrow what you don't want to do today. #abs
Lazy Athlete Rule #8: Keep in mind that planks are only the boards which make the floor of a ship. And people are not boats. ;)
Lazy Athlete Rule #9: Injuries allow you to quit exercising. No pain, no gain.
Lazy Athlete Rule #10: Call breaks from working out "resting." It sounds better than slacking.
Lazy Athlete Rule #11: The less you workout the less you will feel like it and vise versa. See Newton's Laws of Motion.
Lazy Athlete Rule #12: The only part of your workout which should truly require "umph" is blowing your nose. #snotrocket
Lazy Athlete Rule #13: Wear athletic clothes whenever possible. It makes you look and feel sporty. You're also ready to workout instantly.
Lazy Athlete Rule #14: Only commit to training halfheartedly, you don't want to overdo it.
Lazy Athlete Rule #15: Reading about others athletic feats is close enough to doing them. You’d better take the day off.  
Lazy Athlete Rule #16: If the temperatures outside are below zero, just existing whether inside or out, counts for the day's exercise.
Lazy Athlete Rule #17: Daydreaming about working out can count for as much of half of the actual exercise time. #mentaltraining
Lazy Athlete Rule #18: Take fitness advice from anyone who shares it. "I only stretch, like lions. Look how fit they are."
Lazy Athlete Rule #19: Put Icy Hot on before you run. It saves your time after and wards the creeps off at the gym. #yousmellgreat
Lazy Athlete Rule #20: Make sure the number of times you participate in athletic activity in a year can be counted on one hand.